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May 29th, 2008
09:58 am
I am so deeply happy that Weezer is weird again.
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May 20th, 2008
01:29 am
If I missed someone I really loved and I wasn't ashamed about it, I might send them this snippet of Borges:
Curving oceans and the planet's wastes keep us
Apart in vain; from here in a house far off
In South America I dream of you,
Track you, O tiger of the Ganges' banks.
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May 6th, 2008
11:15 pm
The Singularity is upon us and I don't even own a watch.
"And even the egalitarian view of an Internet that wakes up along with all mankind can be viewed as a nightmare," quoth Vernor Vinge.
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April 26th, 2008
02:53 pm
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April 20th, 2008
01:09 am
If anyone ever finds an old oversized Descendents t-shirt, please buy it for me.
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December 13th, 2007
05:49 pm
Trying to write an artist's statement; batting sentences around:
Toolbox of digital media
Growing up inside the Internet, it's impossible to make art that isn't about it
work that is necessarily self-reflexive: being about and also using technology
heavily influenced by the absurdly awe-inspiring presence of the cosmos
loving the norms of the early Internet and its echoes throughout the quickly-evolving social spheres of web use
fear of Aliens
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November 5th, 2007
04:48 pm
I don't know why people make such a big deal about hearing a pin drop; it's actually pretty loud.
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October 18th, 2007
12:44 pm
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
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September 11th, 2007
10:52 pm
My grandmother died this morning. Although we weren't close -- at least not in my sentient, adult years -- there is something about her death that is tearing me apart. Maybe it's the fact that my father is a kind of orphan now, a child patriarch, or that she died alone, fallen down on the kitchen floor, with no one to call to. I feel suddenly as though we all die as orphans.
When my grandfather died, I sat in my parked car and sobbed, screamed, banged on the steering wheel hysterically for what seemed like hours until Annie knocked on the window in the half-light of dusk with a cup of tea. Today, I'm finding sounds and slowing them down on the computer, until all I can hear are soft tones and I can lie on the living room floor without thinking while I wait for my boyfriend to call me.
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July 18th, 2007
08:20 pm
Life is weird right now; very nebulous. My schedule is fucking ridiculous.
As it turns out, these places hold more information as to my whereabouts:
http://veneermagazine.com/b/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/astro-dudes/
http://www.teamyacht.com
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April 21st, 2007
01:19 pm
A Day in the Life of a Musician
Erik Satie
An artist must regulate his life.
Here is a time-table of my daily acts. I rise at 7.18; am inspired from 10.23 to 11.47. I lunch at 12.11 and leave the table at 12.14. A healthy ride on horse-back round my domain follows from 1.19 pm to 2.53 pm. Another bout of inspiration from 3.12 to 4.7 pm. From 5 to 6.47 pm various occupations (fencing, reflection, immobility, visits, contemplation, dexterity, natation, etc.)
Dinner is served at 7.16 and finished at 7.20 pm. From 8.9 to 9.59 pm symphonic readings (out loud). I go to bed regularly at 10.37 pm. Once a week (on Tuesdays) I awake with a start at 3.14 am.
My only nourishment consists of food that is white: eggs, sugar, shredded bones, the fat of dead animals, veal, salt, coco-nuts, chicken cooked in white water, mouldy fruit, rice, turnips, sausages in camphor, pastry, cheese (white varieties), cotton salad, and certain kinds of fish (without their skin). I boil my wine and drink it cold mixed with the juice of the Fuschia. I have a good appetite but never talk when eating for fear of strangling myself.
I breathe carefully (a little at a time) and dance very rarely. When walking I hold my ribs and look steadily behind me.
My expression is very serious; when I laugh it is unintentional, and I always apologise very politely.
I sleep with only one eye closed, very profoundly. My bed is round with a hole in it for my head to go through. Every hour a servant takes my temperature and gives me another.
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February 27th, 2007
06:58 pm
Messages pointing outwards (upwards, up from the edge of) from Earth and into interstellar space, Arecibo, Carl Sagan's weed-smoking treatises, sounds made by the human body and the shuttering beat of pulsars, money, money, writing, the patterns inside of envelopes, my own peripheral presence in the work of others, "the thing's hollow -- it goes on forever -- and -- oh my God! -- it's full of stars!"
Reading so much science fiction recently that every time I emerge -- dewy, frightened -- the world unfolds around me, disappointing. Thinking a great deal about the past; things I once thought were mistakes now seem radiant, pleased integers of human life. I dress like a child, buttons unaligned, polar fleece in primary colors, oversized NASA t-shirts, sneakers.
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February 4th, 2007
04:28 pm
2007 GOALS
Go to Japan with World Court
Find Decent Freelance Work
Finish My Novel
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January 19th, 2007
10:25 pm
"I'm not yesterday's vegetables, I am something that's absolutely weightless -- and you are something that's absolutely weightless -- we are all great programs of integrity, and we are capable to support the integrity of an eternally regenerative Universe."
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December 8th, 2006
06:32 pm
For now, your classic eBay jam. Once I'm more financially stable, this space will become more of a curated space for consumer objects. I have a deep respect for the continuous shelf life of objects, their right to continue to exist in the world. Nothing saddens me more than a wasted thing. Out of the dumpsters, and into the homes and hearts of others! There is no need for new things.
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December 1st, 2006
06:31 pm
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November 25th, 2006
08:44 am
I cannot even express to you people how delicious this recipe for vegan beer-batter scallion pancakes is. Make it in the morning with miso soup!
( Beer Cakes )
After this breakfast, I highly recommend re-heating some coffee and a good hour of Norwegian piano music in the fading light of day.
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November 20th, 2006
01:03 pm
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November 18th, 2006
02:33 pm
Grammar Rule I hate:
", which" as opposed to "that"
My favorite thing that Baudelaire ever wrote is: "Faut-il vous dire, à vous qui ne l'avez pas plus deviné que les autres, que dans ce livre atroce j'ai mis tout mon coeur, toute ma tendresse, toute ma religion (travestie), toute ma haine? Il est vrai que j'écrirai le contraire, que je jurerai mes grands dieux que c'est un livre d'art pur, de signerie, de jonglerie, et je mentirai comme un arracheur de dents."*
I've always liked to think about writing as a form of betrayal, since it is inherently lying. I feel whenever I am trying to work, it's like "pulling teeth" to me, both in the sense that it is difficult and painful, but also because I must distract myself, lure myself into sedation, so that I can get at the real bloody stuff.
*"Do I even have to tell you, you who haven't guessed it, that I have put all of my heart in this atrocious book, all my tenderness, all my disguised religion, all of my hatred? It's true that I will probably deny it, that I will swear upon my greatest gods that it's a book of pure art, of symbolism, of jugglery, but I will be lying like someone who pulls teeth."
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November 14th, 2006
10:42 am
It seems that when presented with a wealth of time all to myself, I either become a floundering, batshit crazy social invalid who no longer has any idea what her own opinions are, what she wants, or whether or not she is even hungry or something, or, I become so clear in my desires and opinions that they begin to dictate my life. Luckily, I've landed in the latter camp, and so my days are an endless parade of quick verdicts and mental reviews of all that I encounter. I will walk by a shop and immediately think, "Interesting display, but ultimately lacking in character," see a band (for example, French critters Lapin Machin last week at Cafe Montmarte) and glibly pronounce them "A Revelation." I am also possessed by esoteric desires, which I construct upon with vigor, until I cannot be satiated; for example I have decided that my birthday, upcoming, should involve a half-dozen "Fines de Claires" oysters, two flutes of nice champagne, a pink dress (for me), gold shoes (for me) and later, warm sake in a dim room and hushed, conspiratorial giggling with my (for the occasion) well-dressed Parisian cohorts. In the meantime I'm being real OCD about everything else, eating kimchi out of a bag, in my underwear. Life is cool!
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